FLOPPIES

Announcement-the one

location:funny maze, inside a pipe thingy on the wall.

text:ANNOUNCEMENT WELCOME We're glad you're here. The ████ ██ █████ ████ hopes this bulletin finds all our faithful followers in good health, and otherwise, may it prosper you towards such with the delightful news we have to share. As you all know, we have been looking for a █████ to appease divinity for a long time, and we have FINALLY found it - The Perfect Body, The ONE. We at ████ ██ █████ ████ would like to thank everyone who has partaken in our gifting ceremonials up to this point - Thanks to you, No parting has been in vain. Distressingly enough however, The One has escaped our grasp and seems hesitant to accept their blessing. We are conducting a search throughout all of our facilities, and expect everyone to stay on high alert until fate takes its course. Our great host has used it's divinity to shield The One until a resolution comes forth. Further details will be exposed at our next gathering. We hope you take pride in your positions. WE URGE ALL TO SPREAD OUR MESSAGE TODAY, AND FOREVER FORTH, UNTIL THE ONE IS CAPTURED FOR THEIR HIGHER PURPOSE. THE DAY OF RECKONING IS NIGH UPON US. Until our days part ways, ██████ may never lead us astray. Blessings, ████ ██ ████ ███ ________________________________ Scag Note: ohhh boy i loveee censoring integral information! i love it! i love it! i love it!

about:something to do with scary mike?? maybe??

summary:honestly i really have no clue what this one is talking about with all the censoring sorry chat

facts:blehh

jermpop shutdown notice

location:jermpop factory in jermbos room near the tv

text:To the employees it may concern, We once again apologize for the shutdown and procedural layoffs within the 'Jermpop' factory located in █████, ███ ████████. Due to unexpccted circumstnaces, it is advised that you do nort return to the facility, as your last checks will be mailed out to you. Thank you. Send Messsage. how to message using floogle floogle messenger Floogle send email to JP.Peresonalmail@floogle dot* Yo i just sent out the emails toweards the firded employeees. we mailled out all the chekcs and took their keys so they wont be able to enter the fatcory. Did u guys figure out the big monster problem?? just torch it. all that ice cream was discontntinued anyway, email mme back onec the job is donme. Delivered: 387 days ago. ________________________________ Scag Note: this actual doofus sent that email to every single employee, wouldnt have happened to me (MANAGERIAL TACTICS.) if youre reading this you must become smart.

about:jermpop

summary:email about the shutdown of jermpop. advises employees not to return likely because of jerbomination

facts:gonna need me more of that jermpop...

FLOPPYSSSSS

location:lobby. i dont think i have to explain where it is

text:HELLO its me, im scag. (if u dont know who i am then thats ok) some very sensitive documents have found their way to me, so i DIGITIZED ALL OF THEM onto floppies! (for my own archival purposes) i had some INFOMAXXING WONDERFULCORE things, which sucks because i lost all of them and idk where they are. i dont have these floppies with me anymore! things like this tend to happen when me and prototype(my friieend) are doing business promotions or MANAGERIAL TACTICS. if you're reading this, ive officially enlisted you to find all of the lost floppies for me and to keep them because ive lost all care or connection to them. theyre probably scattered around in weird places so good luck finding them at all. go forth and find my FLOPPIES!

about:scag and floppies

summary:serves as a sort of introduction to floppies.

facts:im guessing this is the first floppy you found

dear dad from split

location:splitsville behind a chair

text:BIG DAY! 11:26 AM ________________________________ Dear Dad, "Orange' you glad today is the day!! My first day as the Host of Splitsville! What a 'fruit-tastic' opportunity! Being the writer of your show has been so exciting and really fulfilling, but being in your shoes is a real treat! However, I can't help but feel a tad bit of anxiety… Imagining myself in front of that big crowd… my paws are a little shaken from just thinkin about it! I feel like a can-of-worms! I would love for this day to be 'pear'-fect, to go as smoothly as how I envision it in my head! ...I just hope I don't mess up, y'know? Miss you BUNCHES! Split ^_^ ________________________________ ________________________________ Re: BIG DAY! 11:31 AM ________________________________ Hey there Sugar-Plum! Nervous about today? This sounds oddly familiar... Y'know your old man has been through that exact same situation! It's normal to feel that way before performing in front of a big group of people. Honey, I know you'll do GRAPE, even if you mess up a couple times, that's okay, it doesn't hurt! I happened to slip on my own peel the first day in front of EVERYONE! Hahahaha! Can you believe that? Hearing our guests' barks and howls was so worth it though! Everyone is going to LOVE you! Just know I'm your number one fan, supporting you all the way from Joke-O-Rama! Can't wait to see you live! Get Crazy! Go Silly! Go BANANAS! With Love, Foster ________________________________ ________________________________ Scag Note: aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhh soooooooodo cutesypilled my mom is a board. Get It? Just a Little Joke For You Guys

about:split

summary:split's email to her father about her first day hosting splitsville

facts:aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhh soooooooodo cutesypilled

citizens turned monsters

location:next to the jukebox in underground subway

text:Scag Note: i found this old newspaper about some cityplace in the subway. kinda cutecore kinda kawaii ________________________________ CITIZENS TURNED MONSTERS On October 13th, Macabre City's nearby town Crest Falls, was put under lockdown after several reports of radioactive substances found in the water supply. The radiation is causing residents to mutate into "unrecognizable husks of their former selves" as our scientists say. Their records show that any living being that comes into contact with the disease loses all traces of emotional stimuli, as their bodies contort, sprouting arthropod features and instincts. The mutation spreads like the plague as officials report, as over 20,000 residents have been found mutated. Tests suggest these "bug-people" have lost their minds, as they infest and trudge through the remains of the city. As of now, the effects are irreversible, and the government is left with no choice but to send extermination teams to terminate the mutated citizens as they pose a danger to society. To friends and families of the people of Crest Falls, do not attempt any sort of contact, the risk of an outbreak is too high. Anyone or anything that has escaped from Crest Falls, will be hunted down, regardless if they are a "bug-person" or not. Please report to the nearest authorities if you or a loved one has come in contact with these chemicals, as they will be dealt with shortly.

about:crest fall's bug infection, possibly pest lore?

summary:a warning/notice about and infection spreading in crest falls

facts:kinda cutecore kinda kawaii

rejection letters

location:WHEEL OF if it lands on fun

text:Scag Note: YEESH theres dozens of these sadfilled clown escapades... i picked only out a few since they did NOT make me laugh. poor old fella went on a downfilled spiral after the first one. (Letter 1 of 78) Hello Pilbert P. Caterpillar, We appreciate your interest in BoBo's Bazingary of Buffoonery and Banter™ and the time you have invested in applying for the Assistant Pie-Faced Plate Spinner position. We ended up going forward with several other candidates, but we would like to thank you for talking to our team and giving us the opportunity to see your skills and talents first hand. We will be advertising more positions in the following months. We hope you will keep us in mind and we encourage you to apply again. We wish you good luck in your job search and in any / all of your future professional clowning endeavors. Sincerely, Bodacious Bozeringo CEO BoBo's Bazingary of Buffoonery and Banter™ P.s. Don't worry about the broken plates, we always buy extra just in case. (Letter 36 of 78) Hi Pilbert P. Caterpillar, Thank you for your application to the Center Stage Performer position at Clifford Clowning Inc. Our hiring staff was impressed with your listed skillset. Unfortunately, your in-person audition was less than satisfactory. If you ever think of applying to another clowning agency, please try to tell your jokes at an audible volume and not drop your pies on the interviewers laps. We found your falsified list of talents deeply unprofessional and childish. You may notice us advertising for similar positions in the future. Please, do not reapply. Sincerely, Lou Lou Lofteroney Personal director Clifford Clowning Inc. (Letter 78 of 78) Greetings Pilbert P. Caterpillar, Tini Tino's Traveling Circus would like to thank you for your time spent in applying for the open position of Chief of Juggling Ring #4. Your in person audition left an impression. The following are words from our company's founder: "...AND TELL THAT LITTLE SCRUNT THAT IF I EVER SEE THEIR PATHETIC, PITIFUL, DEPRESSING, TALENTLESS, DISMAL FACE EVER AGAIN, I'LL..." The rest of the message was expurgated due to violent language. You have not been selected for this position. Do not apply again. Sincerely, Beefy Bjorngino Personal Director Tini Tino's Traveling Circus

about:pilby

summary:rejection letters from pilbys clown career

facts:poor pilby